College Professor Explores 'Exosexuality' (People Who Have Sex With Trees) In New Academically Published Article

Is 2018 not weird enough for you yet?! Well, I have the story for you.

Lauran Whitworth is currently a professor at St. Mary’s College in Maryland:

SOURCE-In a new academic piece published in the journal Feminist Theory, Professor Lauran Whitworth of St. Mary’s College of Maryland defines the increasingly popular term “ecosexual.”

“1. A person that finds nature sensual, sexy. 2. A new sexual identity. 3: Person who takes the Earth as their lover,” she wrote. In another paragraph, Whitworth explains that while some environmentalists encourage the use of environmentally-friendly sex products such as fair trade condoms and chemical-free lubricants, “ecosexuals” take it a step further by encouraging sex with “nature itself.”

Ecosexual’s are making a hell of a run at the moment. Vice has written about them:

If you think this is all a joke, you are very much wrong. There are some folks in this world who seemingly love to have sex with the earth and are very public about it:

Whitworth includes a description of one “ecosexual” individual’s first sexual encounter with a redwood tree at Yosemite National Park.

In the spirit of carnival, ecosexuality embraces degradation and decomposition. Sprinkle describes her first encounter with redwood trees at Yosemite National Park: ‘I loved the scent of the trunk, like vanilla mixed with soil. I have a strong memory of coming across a redwood that had fallen over from a storm. I walked around off the trail and peeked at its freshly exposed roots. So soft, so sensuous, so sexy! I had to touch them.’

The big question here is whether or not the tree can give consent. Annie Sprinkle may find the tree sexy, but does the tree find her sexy back? Trees have feelings too. Also, can you legally marry a tree? Will you receive tax benefits if you do?

One of the women featured in the academic piece is Elizabeth Stephens, the head (!!!!!!!) of UC Santa Cruz’s art department, who loves to get it on with trees across this beautiful world:

Stephens believes that if you have sex with the earth, you will save it:

Again, this is the head of a department at a public school in California. California tax dollars pay for her salary. What a world, what a damn world.

UCSC isn’t the only college in California embracing the ecosexual movement. At Santa Monica College, a group of students put on a wedding where a student married the ocean. Yes, this really happened:

You and I now know way more about the ecosexual movement than we need to. It’s a big world out there and it’s full of crazies.