It Turns Out My Bird Hates The New Hawk Glove

Look how happy I was when the Hard Factor guys got me a swaggy Hawk glove to handle Rudy with. I thought it was time to upgrade the broom stick anyway so what a perfect time to make the switch. I couldn’t of been more wrong.

Now we are getting into a bit of a conspiracy theory here. Did I get set up because this hawk glove might as well been a batting glove. Once Rudy saw this sucker he snapped and thought he wanted to fly away for good. How the fuck does a double yellow amazon bite through this. If I had a hawk fly onto me I would have been a dead man. Im not getting enough credit for still streaming all night after this brutal injury. I might have to leave the glove in the cage with some like bird food on it to see if he’ll get used to it. If not I got completely hoaxed and will end up with several cuts on my finger.

The amount of bad shit that is happening to myself this week is alarming. It started off with a minute issue with a chocolate muffin getting all over my white t-shirt. Then my eye was leaking like a water slide. I knew my week was going to be shitty once this started to develop. Then you see my bird biting off my flesh and I can’t hit a bet. This whole thing is just foreshadowing for a bad week of March Madness. Fuck