Ass Slapping Contests Are Taking Russia By Storm, Will Putin Approve?

Once in awhile, I’ll stumble upon face slapping videos. You know them well I’m sure:

Now, most of these contests take place across Russia and Serbia. Makes sense. If I’m looking for a man’s man, I’m going to start in Russia and Serbia.

You can say a lot of good things about Russia and Serbia. If I’m being honest, I’d suggest only saying good things about Russia. Don’t want to end up being on Putin’s list, because you know what happens if you end up on that list? Badddd things. That’s why I hope the new addition to the face slapping contests was approved by the man himself:

The ass slapping contests are certainly entertaining, but it seems as if no winner or loser is determined. I’m going to be honest, I’m not a fan of this and Putin can’t be either:

Russia is strong, not soft like this:

I’m not sure how we’d determine the winner and loser but we certainly can’t be giving out participation trophies. If needed, I will sacrifice myself to be the judge of the contests. It’ll be tough, but I’ll do it for the people and Putin.