Walk The Line: Everybody come see how good I look

I’d like to announce that I got a haircut today. In the grand scheme of things, that might not seem like a big deal to you but considering my Periscope show gets inundated with bad haircut jokes every single day, it’s a huge occasion in my life. The unfortunate thing is that ever since that really hot girl cut my hair 3 months ago, I am 0-for-2 in drawing her again in the random rotation at the local shitty chain where I get my hair cut.

On to last night. I was staring at a 1-3 night deep into the ninth inning at Yankee Stadium on Monday. I was 1-2 in my other three bets and was facing a difficult conversation with my wife about my irresponsible ways when Rays’ catcher Travis D’Arnaud hit a popup that somehow escaped Yankee Stadium, giving me a come-from-behind win on the Rays ML (+145).

I deserved it, though. I’m a model citizen, I smell good, I pay my taxes, I love 3 of my 4 kids, I pleasure my wife once every few months, I am just a good person. So I deserved it.

Tonight, we’re going back to Yankee Stadium. This time, the Yankees are sending C.C. Sabathia to the mound against opener Ryne Stanek for the Rays. I like under 10.

Other picks from Walk The Line:

DBacks ML (+150) over Rangers

Marlins-Padres under 8

Cubs ML (-130) over Reds