Model Marries Dog After 220 Failed Dates With Men

Meet Elizabeth Hoad.

After spending her career as a model, Elizabeth found herself with a problem: she couldn’t find a man. She had 4 failed engagements and over 200 dates. Because all men STINK, Elizabeth found herself all alone at age 49. This totally wasn’t her fault. With a sample size of over 200 men not working, it wasn’t Elizabeth that was the problem, instead, it was all the stinky MEN out there.

Due to this issue, Elizabeth decided to marry her dog on British morning TV yesterday:

Sllllaaayyyyy queen!!!!

We gotta get Elizabeth on Schnitt Talk sometime to talk to Ellie about how we need to delete all men and start marrying our dogs. We’d never have to check their phones or their Instagram activity! Am I right, ladies!!!

I can’t imagine PETA is too happy about this. I haven’t seen anything from them, but I’d assume that they have a statement ready to go on this. No way they are down with this.

Best of luck to Elizabeth and her dog. I hope they have a great marriage.

P.s. If Elizabeth ever wants to hit up the American dating market, I’m available.

via The Mirror