Top 5 Ways To Get Dave Portnoy 20K In One Day

For those that do not know Dana B is up to be Dave’s new guy which is a huge deal. Dave is about to move on to another person if Dana can’t come up with the cash. Dana is my guy so I gave him a call and tried to lay out the best options to get the money.

1. My very first thought was to reach out to the Call Her Daddy girls and ask for feet pictures or ask for the proper way to get a sugar mommy.

2. Find a smart nerd to get me on the dark web and find a chat room. I feel like there has to be someone in that web that has a task that needs to be done for 20k.

3. Ask degenerates how they get cash fast when a bookie is shaking them down. Or become a king pin over night, Id be slinging on the streets all night.

4. Spread out 4 of the same bets on different books for 5 grand and pray for the best. When you bet illegally you don’t have to front the money so just hope it hits on this Hall of fame pre season game. If it doesn’t hit I heard Cambodia is nice this time of year.

5. I think you are fucked pal.