The New York Giants Do Not Appear To Have A Defense, Which Is Quite A Problem

While myself and all the other Giants fans were worrying about if the offense would be better than it’s been the last few season, little did we know there was a fucking time bomb on the other side of the ball ready to explode in all of our faces this afternoon. No sacks, no turnovers, no signs of life for a good portion of the goddamn game. The last few years the defense would bend until being on the field nonstop due to the Giants shitty offense would cause it to break. Well this time it was the defense’s incompetence that caused the offense to break and the game to pretty much be a wrap right after halftime. The pass rush was non-existent and the secondary had Michael Gallup looking like Michael Irvin, Randall Cobb looking like Young & Good Randall Cobb, and Jason Witten looking like a guy who didn’t spend last season as one of the worst announcers in the history of football.

Don’t get me wrong, Eli and company weren’t blameless in that slopfest either. Not by a long shot. Some of the play calls and decisions made were mind numbing at best. The refs didn’t do the Giants any favors in this game, but that had nothing to do with the result as Big Blue was outclassed by the Cowboys in every aspect of the game like they have in most of the showdowns between these two teams as of late.

On a positive note however, Evan Engram looked good and Saquon Barkley is still a freak of nature when he actually got the ball (15 touches is not NEARLY enough for someone that can do this).

Oh yeah and we got our first sighting of Danny Dimes in a meaningful game!

Not Pictured: Jones’ fumble a few plays later because we believe in positivity on the #Danwagon and fumbles are easy to correct using the Tiki Method

I think/hope the Giants defense will look a little better against a Bills team that gave up 4 turnovers and a safety against the Jets today that obviously doesn’t have the same offensive line or playmakers as Dallas. But I honestly don’t know if that will happen considering how shitty the Giants defense looked at every level. Especially whatever level Antonio Hamilton was on at any given play.

Another shitty opener to what may be a shitty season. But as always, we move on, tell ourselves that the 2007 team started 0-2, and pray for the best.

And oh yeah one last time, fuck the Cowboys.