In Honor Of The Preakness: The Running Of The Porta Potties

Preakness was supposed to be today. It's rescheduled for October but man, nothing beats the Preakness if you're the common man.

It goes apple pie. The Constitution. The Running of the Porta Potties. 3 things that make America what it is today. And today was supposed to be the annual tradition of drunk kids from the Northeast getting inebriated beyond all belief and running along the porta potties at Pimlico.

I suggest going to Preakness exactly once. The Preakness is the red headed step child of the Triple Crown. If the official drink of the Kentucky Derby was a fine wine, the official drink of the Preakness would be Natty Light. For years Preakness was BYOB..which translated to “fill up wagons and shopping carts with as many 30 packs as possible and we trust you won’t drive home”. Apparently things didn’t work out, because now it’s just “all you can drink” instead of BYOB, a very obvious solution!

So since it's postponed, let us enjoy said drunk kids from the Northeast getting full cans pelted at their heads like a scene out of Jarhead…

We'll do this for real in October. I probably won't see you there because I'm old…but…maybe?