Stimulus Checks The Day Before March Madness? Talk About Some Federally Funded Debauchery

I mean, is this not the greatest thing to ever happen to 88% of US adults? According to both my bank account and my Twitter timeline, the first round went out today. And boys, let's all take a moment to thank our lucky stars. I'm not sure there's a better time all year to receive a nice little financial boost than the day before March Madness starts. 

First of all, I cannot imagine what it would be like to be our college brethren right now, who woke up today with 1,400 extra dollars on St Patrick's Day. I know people get all worried that these stimulus checks won't really stimulate anything if everyone just puts them into savings. But I can tell you one industry that is going to be riding the wave of economic recovery over the next couple days: the bars in college towns. 

To quote the great Sam Ehlinger: WE'RE BAAAAAAACK!

The green beer and Irish Car Bombs will be flowing today, folks. Did I start a tab? Uh no, the Internal Revenue Service did.

No one can prove to me that this wasn't planned. Tossing out this cash on this specific day is too perfect to be a coincidence. And now the only thing more back than Texas football and the college bars is our bankrolls heading into March Madness. It's been over a month since the Super Bowl, so our football units have been long forgotten. And now they're going to give us a bundle of cash the day before the First Four tips off? We're already hot, boys!!! To those people that haven't lost a paycheck but are still collecting these stimulus checks, this sounds like $1400 worth of free play to me. Of course I ask that you gamble responsibly (and you can read more about that here).

Or you can just pick the safest of bets investments.