Welcome, Coloradans: Here's Your Guide To Attack The Barstool Sportsbook

I don't know if it's Coloradans or Coloradoans. The second one looks stupid so I went with the first.

Wanna hear something that's the opposite of stupid? It's your turn to get the Barstool Sportsbook App. Download it, deposit and let's go.

But I'm not going to just sit here and play with your skirt about this. I'm not going to pander and start naming incredible Colorado cities like Boulder, Colorado Springs, Aspen, Aurora, Fort Collins, Lakewood, Pueblo, Thornton, Arvada, Westminster and Centennial just so you'll like me.

No, I'm going to give you a plan of attack to join the fray on the front lines of the Barstool Sportsbook App. So here are three things you need to know:

1) It's time you profit on the Rockies

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The Rockies, objectively, are terrible. The only drama involving the Rockies at the trade deadline was whether or not they'd allow their good players to go play for a contending team. They didn't. BUT...At home? At home the Rockies are fantastic. Despite being 13-40 away from Denver, which is second-worst in the majors, the Rockies turn into the 1927 Yankees at home, as their 38-21 record ranks third in baseball behind the Giants and White Sox, two World Series contenders.

Why? I dunno, you tell me. You're from there. Is it the altitude? Is it the awesome stadium? Is it the weed? Don't know, don't care. All I know is this: The Rockies have six home games remaining in August, which is six times you need to be hammering the ML. In September, there are 16 home games, including the last nine games of the season. Destroy this bet.

2) Bet on the Broncos' schedule

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You know the truth and I know the truth. The Denver Broncos have everything but a quarterback. Drew Lock ain't it, but it's not like Denver isn't trying. With a loaded roster everywhere else, the Broncos will be a tough out in the NFL this season even though they likely won't be a Super Bowl contender until someone other than Drew Lock is taking snaps. But even though Aaron Rodgers won't arrive in Denver until next season, there's still a lot of room to win on the Broncos this season.

The Broncos' current win total on the Sportsbook is 8.5. This team is too good to fall short of a winning record, I don't care who the QB is. Yes, the Chiefs are great. But even so, in the division, I think the Broncos can count on at least splitting with Vegas and the Chargers, and probably will get more than two wins in that group. Then there's the non-division schedule. Denver plays a ton of shitty teams, opening the season with road games at the New York Giants and at Jacksonville. Throw in games against the Jets, Lions and Bengals, you've got a lot of soft weeks for a team that can get by on the talent outside of QB. 

The play is Over 8.5 wins. Get that in.

3) Follow me on College Football

I'm not a professional gambler, but in college football, I'm the closest thing to a professional gambler we have at Barstool Sports dot com. Follow me to freedom.

So let's go. Download the app, deposit, proft. And have fun.