BARSTOOL COLLEGE FOOTBALL ROUND UP - WEEK 5

Let’s start with confirmation one thousand eight hundred twenty-five that The U is #back (even though their punters are kicking the ball BACKWARDS):

Maybe after Friday night, people will stop sleeping on Pullman, Mike Leach, and Wazzu:

Please take this time in the round up to pray for every USC player, because it seemed like they all died on Friday night.

It’s funny, the same night that 1/2 of USC died, the dab pulled an Undertaker and came back to life. The next day it reminded the world that it is, in fact, #back.

Blacksburg almost exploded from electricity.

The electricity didn’t end up mattering, as Virginia Tech couldn’t stop the Clemson train that is running through the damn country.

Butch Jones is going to be able to buy a lot of donuts with the buyout money he’s going to have soon after being fired.

(this is my favorite tweet ever btw)

Ole Miss is dead. DEAD I tell ya, DEAD!

Temple Football decided to TL;DR their entire 2017 season in a tweet & two plays.

Ed Orgeron’s buyout is 12 million dollars….$12,000,000!

Saquon Barkley is a god walking among humans. Just give him the damn Heisman now.

Florida scored….wait for it….38 points (gasp) this weekend, which broke the damn scoreboard.

Wake Forest (almost) did the damn thing!

Now DO the Stanky LEG!

All together now: JUUUUUUUUUUICCCCCCCCCE!

A star was born in Wisconsin and it was all thanks to a schmedium polo.

Oh no, ECU, what is you DOING?!?!

Texas A&M almost had a national emergency:

UMASS FOOTBALL: CATCH THE EXCITEMENT!

We almost had a damn decapitation in Kansas!

Bryce….goddamn…..LOVE!

Moss’d!!!!

Oh, Rutgers, I wonder why you even try sometimes.

That is NOT how you football! BAD!

EXPLOSIVE game for Notre Dame:

I hope you all have a great week….or at least it’s better than Dan Mullen’s week is going to be!